4 Hidden Signs of Trauma in High-Functioning Women
You’re doing all the things.
You look like you’re thriving.
But inside, something feels…off.
You might be dealing with high-functioning trauma—especially if these sound familiar
Being “fine” isn’t the same as being well. Many of the women I work with think that because they’re functioning, that perhaps they don’t really have trauma or “it’s not that bad”.
You meet deadlines. You’re dependable. You know how to take care of everyone else.
But under the surface?
You’re exhausted. Disconnected. Sometimes numb.
You bounce between perfectionism and burnout.
You might not think of it as trauma.
But your nervous system remembers what your mind has rationalized
What “Functional” Trauma Can Look Like
High-functioning trauma doesn’t always look like collapse.
Often, it looks like over-control, over-care, and over-achieving.
1. You Feel Anxious When You Slow Down
Rest triggers guilt. You feel safest when you’re busy—even when your body’s begging for stillness.
2. You Avoid Conflict but Carry Resentment
You keep things peaceful on the surface, but inside, you hold the weight of unmet needs and unspoken boundaries.
3. You’re Hyper-Independent
You rarely ask for help. You pride yourself on being low-maintenance. But it’s exhausting—and lonely.
4. You Second-Guess Yourself Constantly
Even with a long list of achievements, you struggle to trust your own inner voice. You need proof before permission.
These signs don’t mean you’re weak. They mean your nervous system adapted to keep you safe.
But healing is possible—and you don’t have to hold it all alone anymore.
What Healing Can Actually Look Like
Rest that doesn’t feel like failure
Boundaries without guilt
Feeling safe enough to ask for help
Softening without fear of collapse
Creativity that flows without pressure
Joy that doesn’t need to be earned
Therapy Helps You Come Home to Yourself
This work isn’t about fixing you.
It’s about helping you feel safe enough to stop performing wellness—and start experiencing it.
Through trauma-informed, mind-body therapy (EMDR, IFS, nervous system care), we gently explore:
What your nervous system learned about safety
How to restore trust with your body
What emotional regulation can feel like—not just look like
How to shift from survival to true connection
Ready to Explore Therapy?
You don’t have to wait until things fall apart.
If you're curious about doing deep, compassionate healing work—I'm here. Schedule a free consultation.
Do I Need Therapy or Coaching?
If you're asking this question, you're already taking a step toward growth. But knowing whether you need therapy or coaching can feel confusing—especially when both claim to help you “get unstuck” or “reach your full potential.” So what’s the difference, and how do you know which one fits your situation?
Here’s a no-fluff guide to help you figure it out.
The Core Difference: Past vs. Future
Therapy is about healing.
Coaching is about growth.
Therapists help you work through emotional pain, trauma, anxiety, depression, or patterns rooted in the past. Coaches help you set goals, break through plateaus, and improve performance moving forward.
For instance, I meet with a business coach on a monthly basis to help me work towards my business goals and growth. However, I also have a psychotherapist I meet with biweekly that helps me with my mental health, stress, personal issues, etc.
Signs You May Need Therapy
You're dealing with anxiety, depression, trauma, or grief
You feel emotionally overwhelmed or numb
You’ve experienced abuse or toxic relationships
Your mental health is affecting your work or relationships
You’re having trouble functioning day-to-day
Bottom line: If emotional pain or mental health is the primary struggle, start with therapy.
Signs Coaching Might Be Right
You’re stuck but not struggling with mental illness
You want clarity on your goals or next steps
You’re looking to boost performance or productivity
You want a thought partner for growth and strategy
You're seeking accountability and results
Bottom line: If you're mentally well but feel stuck, coaching can help you level up.
Can You Do Both?
Yes. Many people benefit from both therapy and coaching—just not at the same time. Start with therapy if there are unresolved emotional or mental health issues. Once you're in a good place, coaching can accelerate your progress toward goals.
How to Decide
Ask yourself:
Am I emotionally struggling or feeling mentally unwell?
Is my goal to feel better—or to do better?
Do I need healing, or do I need a push forward?
When in doubt, talk to a licensed therapist for an initial consult. A good therapist will tell you if coaching might be a better fit—or vice versa.
Final Thoughts
Choosing between therapy and coaching isn’t about picking the “better” option—it’s about finding the right support for where you are right now. Both can change your life. The key is being honest about what you need most: healing or momentum. You can learn more about my therapy services and coaching services here.
What is IFS-Informed EMDR?
IFS-Informed EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is an approach that combines two therapeutic modalities: Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy and EMDR. Both IFS and EMDR are well-established therapies used to address trauma and emotional difficulties.
Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy: IFS is a therapeutic approach that posits that the mind is composed of different "parts," each with its own thoughts, emotions, and motivations. These parts can sometimes conflict with each other, leading to emotional distress. IFS aims to help individuals understand and communicate with these parts, fostering self-awareness and self-compassion. The goal is to establish a harmonious relationship among these parts, allowing for healing and personal growth.
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR): EMDR is a psychotherapy technique primarily used to treat trauma and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). It involves guided eye movements or other forms of bilateral stimulation while focusing on distressing memories. This process helps desensitize the emotional charge associated with traumatic experiences, allowing individuals to process and integrate the memories in a healthier way.
IFS-Informed EMDR: This approach involves integrating principles from IFS therapy into the EMDR process. By incorporating IFS concepts, therapists can enhance the therapeutic experience and outcomes of EMDR sessions. Here's how it might work:
Parts Work: During EMDR sessions, clients explore the different parts of themselves that are connected to traumatic memories. IFS language and techniques can help clients develop a deeper understanding of these parts, fostering a sense of safety and collaboration between parts and the Self (the core, authentic self).
Self-Leadership: IFS emphasizes the importance of the Self as the central, compassionate, and wise core of an individual. In IFS-Informed EMDR, the I help clients to connect with their Self during the EMDR reprocessing phase. This can provide a sense of stability and guidance as traumatic memories are processed.
Integration and Healing: By integrating IFS principles, I help clients work through trauma memories with a greater awareness of their internal landscape. This approach can lead to a more comprehensive healing process as clients develop a healthier relationship with their parts and navigate traumatic memories with increased self-compassion and resilience.
In essence, IFS-Informed EMDR aims to combine the strengths of both IFS therapy and EMDR to offer a holistic and tailored approach to trauma treatment. This integration can provide clients with a deeper understanding of their emotions, thoughts, and reactions, ultimately promoting healing, self-discovery, and growth. It's important to note that each client’s experience will be unique.
If you’re interested in IFS-Informed EMDR, make an appointment here.
How EMDR Works to Heal Trauma
Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing (EMDR) has grown in popularity within the last several years. In fact, EMDR has become my most-requested service. Many people may have heard of EMDR, but don’t necessarily understand how it works.
When we experience trauma, it can cause us to feel stuck. This because trauma often gets stored in both our minds and our bodies. Many people are able to process some of this trauma throw traditional talk therapy, but this isn’t always effective. This is because all of the material attached to the trauma-the images, body sensations, feelings, and thoughts. Thus, we can still get triggered when we are reminded of the trauma.
EMDR using bilateral eye stimulation to engage both the left and right sides of the body. This helps to get the traumatic material unstuck. Once the material is unstuck, we can then work how to store it in a way that does not cause any further distress. It’s similar to cleaning and reorganizing a messy closet, only the closet is your brain!
Interested in learning more about how EMDR can help you? Schedule an appointment!
Why the Mind-Body Therapy is Important
Our minds and bodies are connected.
With psychotherapy becoming more mainstream and less taboo, lots of people are seeing the benefits of caring for their mental health. However, traditional talk therapy can focus a lot on processing thoughts and feelings in the mind. While this can certainly be helpful for most, it may not be enough to effectively heal trauma.
That’s because our bodies often recognize trauma before our minds do. Sometimes this trauma can get stored in the body when we don’t even realize it.
Somatic therapies, often-referred to as mind-body therapies, can be helpful in addressing psychological trauma that gets stored in the body. Many of these practices are centuries-old and have been practiced culturally by People of Global Majority. In recent years, these practices have become more popular in Western cultures.
EMDR therapy and trauma conscious yoga are both somatic therapies that I utilize in my practice. Neither of these therapies require you to retell the details of your trauma. The objective is to desensitize your mind and body to traumatic memories so that you can be more present in your everyday life. I like to use EMDR and yoga together as a way to help soothe the nervous system.
If you’re interested in learning more about